It took a couple weeks, but I'm finally able to mutter out "I'm pregnant" to people w/o feeling really awkward about it! I still dont tell everyone I come across, they'll figure it out sooner or later.. :)
I'm definately "feeling" pregnant! Long gone now are the days of staying up until 11pm to keep up on my weekly shows.. Heck I can barely make it to 8pm right now! If I dont get atleast 9 hrs sleep, I'll be yawning all day and my body will really feel tired. So my shows are falling behind and the DVR is piling up. I want to ride, but dont find much energy to do more than want! I am struggling to eat enough food, I know I need to be eating more, but I feel full all the time, so drinking and eating has been a chore. I NEVER imagined I would feel that way about food!! lol And if I push too far beyond my "full" feeling to eat what I know I need to eat, then I hurt for hours.. and the peeing.. Oh man.. No wonder I need 9-10hrs sleep since I'm not getting solid sleep with having to pee every 1-3 hrs in the middle of the night.. lol No denying I'm pregnant.
I guess you could say I'm lucky in that I've not had any sickness issues, but I definately have issues. So I cant say mine are better than others cuz I feel like crap all the time and who's to say what symptoms are worse than others! :) Oh and did I forget to mention that I now drink twice daily a fiber supplement to keep myself regular!
One thing I will say is that I realize every day how lucky I am, because I could not ask for a better husband! No Joking here.. Derek has been so attentive and really steps in and understands that although physically I'm not doing anything, it is hard work making this baby and he appreciates the sacrifice I am going through right now. Any worries I may have had about the type of pregnancy husband he would be, are all 100% squashed. I sometimes feel guilty with how well he's taking care of me, but I'm not complaining, I honestly love him more and more every day. ;) And I cant wait to watch him become a Daddy!
I had my first Dr appt a week ago, mostly just for history and see how I'm doing so far. I have not met the doctor, that will come with my first ultrasound on 9/9. Very excited for that. Looking forward to having a better idea exactly how far along I really am.
This past weekend I went on our annual horse club Ladies Ride! I had been looking forward to some me time, also realizing it might be my last camping trip for a while. It rained for most of the day on Thursday when I arrived, so I set up my tarp awning first, getting drenched in the process, then sat for an hour to recover underneath! There was only 1 other up there at the time and it was just easier to do it all myself than try to explain to someone else in the rain what I needed them to do. Took me a few hours to get all set up, but I had a good thing going. The rain quit that night and we were all snug and cozy. I got in a couple 3 hr rides on Fri & Sat. Hula was awesome! She didnt disappoint. Everyone seemed to like her, she got along with other horses and took care of me on the trail, cant ask for much more than that. By Sunday, I was feeling really tired. Got my camp packed up and headed out around 11. Struggled a bit on the drive home, but stayed awake. Got home and basically crashed for the rest of the day. I had zero energy to do anything except lay on the couch and did not feel recovered until Tuesday. This has been a very exhausting week, not sure if it was from my camping trip or just more symptoms of pregnancy fatigue kicking in.
And I've officially left WW :( Booooo.. Apparently they have this rule that pregnant women are not allowed to continue with their program, so I've been suspended for now. Bummer as I really enjoyed the meetings and wanted to continue with that aspect of it. I have not been following their point program since I discovered I was pregnant. But I have 6 months of hard work in, I've lost 46 pounds and I dont intend on throwing that all away now. The plan is to continue to eat healthy and since I had to give up cravings long ago, I hope to be able to hold strong when/if pregnancy cravings ever kick in!! Baby weight is all this body plans to gain.. fingers crossed!!!
Friday, August 23, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
OMG... We have two lines!!
For the past couple years, Derek and I have been thinking about starting a family. Initially considering the adoption route because over the years, I never really wanted to be pregnant. I convinced myself that adoption was the way to go. Realizing all along that it was my own issue and fears with being pregnant and getting fatter that was holding me back, but I was never really willing to compromise on that. Especially after Carrie died... No way was I going to risk dying, just to have a baby!
After the adoption classes, Derek realized it definately was not the way he wanted to start a family. I would have considered it, but if Derek was not on board, then I had to be OK with it, because he has been OK with me not wanting to have a natural baby. Compromise :) We have spent years talking about raising a kid though and what we would do differently from those that we've watched around us. We've had 23 years together to really know and understand each other.
Almost 2 years ago I went to my Dr and she wanted to put in an IUD, mostly because my monthly "aunt" is always such a bitch to me. But I knew right away in my head that it was not an option because there was this nagging "what if" in the back of my head.... As we went through the adoption process and over the past couple years, we've spent many long conversations about pregnancy, adoption, many hours of crying about what is the right thing to do, what do I want to do, not want to do, feeling responsible for not having a family yet.
After a few months on Weight Watchers and watching some much needed excess weight fall off, I started also letting go of some of my pregnancy fears.. slowly I was telling myself "maybe I can do this!" I made an appointment with my Dr for my yearly exam (which was about a year over-due) and decided to talk with her about the possibility of pregnancy! Yikes, was I really going to talk to someone other than Derek, out loud! Seems silly I'm sure, but it was a huge step for me and very awkward to bring up.. I asked "Did I wait too long and am I too unhealthy to get pregnant?" Dr Paulson was great and made me feel really positive about it, letting me know it was great I was loosing weight, of course I'm not too old and to just continue to loose weight while trying to get pregnant. She set me up with an Ultrasound (just to be sure all looked ok), gave us a referral for Derek to get his swimmers counted and a referral to a OBGYN.
Wow, we are really going to give this a go! About 6-7 weeks ago we started trying. For the past couple weeks, almost every time I would eat, my stomach would ache like I had over-eaten. I was feeling a bit bloated and just felt like crap after I ate any meals. My period was 10 days late (which is NOT abnormal for me, over the years its been common for me to go 2-3 months between periods, BUT since I started loosing weight, I became "regular" again with a monthly cycle.. the biggest downfall of my weightloss!) So anyways, I had been watching my cycles carefully because we wanted to get pregnant, so I was taking ovulation tests and it never came up positive.. damn what the heck is wrong with me!! Confirming in my head that I was infertile or just messed up and not going to be able to easily get pregnant.
Well a week ago, I decided maybe I should take a pregnancy test. As crappy as I had been feeling and with my late period.. maybe, just maybe.... Derek's alarm went off at about 3:30am for work that morning and I got up right away, took the test. I had bought it the night before and was anxiously awaiting his alarm to go off so I could take it! lol As I sat on the toilet watching the "stick" I soon realized that 2 lines were forming... OMG!! OMG!!! OMG!!!!
I didnt know what to do... Do I cry? Do I wake up Derek? Do I put the stick next to the toilet for him to "find"? Do I set it on his end table? Do I just keep pacing the bedroom wondering what the hell to do? lol
So I opted to get back in bed, with the stick in my hand, wave it around in Derek's face as he slept and continuously say "We have 2 lines.. We have 2 lines.." I didnt know what else to say. As he attempted to wake up, his vision was blurred by this "thing" I was waving in his face and he was completely confused about what was going on and what 2 lines I was talking about and what it all meant!! Whew.. so I slowed down the waving of the stick, tried to hold it steady in front of him and calmly tried to utter out that 2 lines means pregnant.. and that we had 2 lines!! He finally got it.. We spent the next 20 minutes just laying in bed, laughing off/on as I am not sure either of us knew what to say or how to feel. Not a bad laugh, just an "I cant believe this is happening" laugh! Who knew, that within 6 weeks of trying to get pregnant, we would be pregnant!
So here I am today, a week later and I'm a bit freaked out, still cant believe it is happening. Yes we did want this, yes it was planned. I just am not ready to fully accept it and comprehend what the heck is happening! Almost everyone around us knows.. I was unable to contain nor suppress Derek's excitement.. Who am I to tell him he cant shout it out to the world.. so although I'm not quite ready to shout it out, I'm working on it. Dont mistake that for excitement or happiness about this life changing event!! :) We are going to be parents... and we'll have a damn cute kid!
After the adoption classes, Derek realized it definately was not the way he wanted to start a family. I would have considered it, but if Derek was not on board, then I had to be OK with it, because he has been OK with me not wanting to have a natural baby. Compromise :) We have spent years talking about raising a kid though and what we would do differently from those that we've watched around us. We've had 23 years together to really know and understand each other.
Almost 2 years ago I went to my Dr and she wanted to put in an IUD, mostly because my monthly "aunt" is always such a bitch to me. But I knew right away in my head that it was not an option because there was this nagging "what if" in the back of my head.... As we went through the adoption process and over the past couple years, we've spent many long conversations about pregnancy, adoption, many hours of crying about what is the right thing to do, what do I want to do, not want to do, feeling responsible for not having a family yet.
After a few months on Weight Watchers and watching some much needed excess weight fall off, I started also letting go of some of my pregnancy fears.. slowly I was telling myself "maybe I can do this!" I made an appointment with my Dr for my yearly exam (which was about a year over-due) and decided to talk with her about the possibility of pregnancy! Yikes, was I really going to talk to someone other than Derek, out loud! Seems silly I'm sure, but it was a huge step for me and very awkward to bring up.. I asked "Did I wait too long and am I too unhealthy to get pregnant?" Dr Paulson was great and made me feel really positive about it, letting me know it was great I was loosing weight, of course I'm not too old and to just continue to loose weight while trying to get pregnant. She set me up with an Ultrasound (just to be sure all looked ok), gave us a referral for Derek to get his swimmers counted and a referral to a OBGYN.
Wow, we are really going to give this a go! About 6-7 weeks ago we started trying. For the past couple weeks, almost every time I would eat, my stomach would ache like I had over-eaten. I was feeling a bit bloated and just felt like crap after I ate any meals. My period was 10 days late (which is NOT abnormal for me, over the years its been common for me to go 2-3 months between periods, BUT since I started loosing weight, I became "regular" again with a monthly cycle.. the biggest downfall of my weightloss!) So anyways, I had been watching my cycles carefully because we wanted to get pregnant, so I was taking ovulation tests and it never came up positive.. damn what the heck is wrong with me!! Confirming in my head that I was infertile or just messed up and not going to be able to easily get pregnant.
Well a week ago, I decided maybe I should take a pregnancy test. As crappy as I had been feeling and with my late period.. maybe, just maybe.... Derek's alarm went off at about 3:30am for work that morning and I got up right away, took the test. I had bought it the night before and was anxiously awaiting his alarm to go off so I could take it! lol As I sat on the toilet watching the "stick" I soon realized that 2 lines were forming... OMG!! OMG!!! OMG!!!!
I didnt know what to do... Do I cry? Do I wake up Derek? Do I put the stick next to the toilet for him to "find"? Do I set it on his end table? Do I just keep pacing the bedroom wondering what the hell to do? lol
So I opted to get back in bed, with the stick in my hand, wave it around in Derek's face as he slept and continuously say "We have 2 lines.. We have 2 lines.." I didnt know what else to say. As he attempted to wake up, his vision was blurred by this "thing" I was waving in his face and he was completely confused about what was going on and what 2 lines I was talking about and what it all meant!! Whew.. so I slowed down the waving of the stick, tried to hold it steady in front of him and calmly tried to utter out that 2 lines means pregnant.. and that we had 2 lines!! He finally got it.. We spent the next 20 minutes just laying in bed, laughing off/on as I am not sure either of us knew what to say or how to feel. Not a bad laugh, just an "I cant believe this is happening" laugh! Who knew, that within 6 weeks of trying to get pregnant, we would be pregnant!
So here I am today, a week later and I'm a bit freaked out, still cant believe it is happening. Yes we did want this, yes it was planned. I just am not ready to fully accept it and comprehend what the heck is happening! Almost everyone around us knows.. I was unable to contain nor suppress Derek's excitement.. Who am I to tell him he cant shout it out to the world.. so although I'm not quite ready to shout it out, I'm working on it. Dont mistake that for excitement or happiness about this life changing event!! :) We are going to be parents... and we'll have a damn cute kid!
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