Memorial Weekend

Once again, we ended up at Beavercreek for Memorial Weekend, in Twisp.  3 of the last 4 years have been here, but we really like it and since we were going horseless, we knew there would be some good hiking.

We had invited a few different sets of friends to come along, but none of them could make it, but we had a great time with our horse club friends that did go.  We struggled getting ready to go the week prior..  as we realized our camper was too small for our truck!  Didnt think that would be an issue until we put it on the truck, and saw that the cabover section was touching the roof of our truck!  After some creative thinking, we got it squared away.  But FYI, an upgrade in campers is now on our short-term list.  Which means we will most likely sell our camper this summer and have to be without for a few camping trips  :(  Oh well, we are perfectly capable of "roughin" it!

Our goal for Memorial was to hike the Pipestone.  We had ridden it 3 years prior and knew it would be a great hike.  I was feeling some apprehension about it though as I was fully aware it would be a 4+ hour venture.  Friday I was just not feeling in the mood to get out, legs felt tired and weak.. probably because I was up until 2am Wed night preparing for our trip on Thursday..  Things just were not coming together on Wed, had my WW meeting, my phone died, camper had issues.. so what was I to do?  I still had all that food to prep and clothes to finish washing before heading out the next morning.  :)

Derek went off hiking on his own for a while on Friday.  I dont know how long he was gone, I was lazy and hung out in the camper, nodded off for a while with Cooper!  It was nice having some down time, just me and the dog.  I was sad to have left Ellie behind that weekend but it would not have been right to leave Russell home alone.. poor guys is getting blinder and deafer by the day!  :(

Saturday morning was the day.  We were going to hike out to the Pipestone.  We got directions on which trails to take to get there and headed out.  We dropped down into Death Valley, a completely different vibe walking through there vs riding a horse through.  We had Cooper with us and decided to teach him a new command "follow" as we wanted him to learn to walk on the trail behind us and not running off into the snake filled bushes!  Coming back up out of D.V. was a steady climb, we stopped often for mini-breather sessions and at the end of that climb, realized we had just hiked the backside of Pipestone and missed it completely!  We were at the far West end of it, so we hiked up another section to get to the top of Pipestone which gave us a great view of the entire area.  So we did still hike to the Pipestone, we just didnt end up following the trail ALONG the Pipestone.  But thats OK as we had done the trail horseback and this route we took was one we had not seen before and the lookout where we stopped for lunch, was not an area we had explored on horseback either.

These are some horses that came from a barn around the other side of this hill.  They are on a trail that connects into the top ridge of the Pipestone trail.  They actually took a right and headed down to the intersection of the trail on the backside, which is the same way we had walked up.

Overlooking the Pipestone.  That big hill in the background is the one the horses had come around.  It was really windy up here, but it felt nice and we had an amazing view.

After a nice break and some great pictures, we headed back to camp.  We followed the old ditch-line above camp on the way back and then had to drop down to the campers, so we did a big circle hike, took us 4.5 hours!  Again, AMAZINGLY my back was NOT at all sore the entire hike!  I'm sure the 4 Ibuprofen I took was part of the reason, but that was a very long difficult hike and I was pretty proud of myself.  :)  The weather was not as hot as Burke Lake, it was perfect.

I think we wore Cooper out more than ourselves.  Poor dog tried to jump off the tailgate step that evening and his legs buckled and he fell on his face!  Overall we had a really great weekend.  Cooper still has a major infatuation with fires and at times have to really watch him because he has almost gone in!

At the time of that weekend, I think I was down almost 35 pounds.  Today I am down 37.  Not a lot of change lately, its been an up/down rollercoaster for me.  Good decisions, bad decisions...  But I continue to work on it and am proud that I've lost that much so far.  I continue to work on re-training myself, its a daily battle.

Duck Dog Challenge

A friend took this picture of Derek Cooper & I.  I really like the picture!!

Our retriever club put on a Duck Dog Challenge back in May.  It was a 1-day event and 95% of us had never been to one, nor seen it in person.. so there was a lot of stress involved with getting all the details sorted and how it was going to come together.  I think a few of us were quite worried we wouldnt have anyone show up as its not a cheap sport to do.

There were 2 options.. a Team challenge consisting of 2 shooters, 1 dog handler and 1 dog for $150.  Then the 2nd option was 1 dog, 1 handler for $50.

Derek and I each ran Cooper in the Single Series.  It was interesting.  As the Bumper gets tossed into the sky, you have to 'attempt' to shoot/hit the target, then your dog retrieves it.  It is all timed and scored based on whether you hit the target or not and if your dog retrieves it or not.  Basically of all the teams, all the dogs scored 100% which leaves the deciding factor on points up to the shooters.  And if there was a tie for points, then winner is based on fastest time.

Basically..  we had NO chance in winning!  LOL   We couldnt hit the target very well and our dog is not that fast...  So I am proud to say that I took last place and Derek took 2nd to last..  Shouldn't there be a prize for that?  :)  Overall, it was a financial success, we had enough teams to atleast break even, maybe even made a couple hundred but it was definately a lot of fun..  cant wait to put on another one maybe next year!!

Cooper retrieving a water mark bumper

 This is Molly, Cooper's 1/2 sister

 This is Earl, Cooper's Daddy with Elroy.  Earl was attacked by coyotes in his back yard a few months ago and this was the first time he was able to do any retrieves, so Elroy threw 2 water retrieves for him.  It was really a special moment for us to be there and be a part of it and many of us had tears in our eyes.  Earl is a very special dog and has overcome a lot to even be walking, let alone retrieving again!!

 Derek handing over a Handler's Jacket to the founders of the Duck Dog Challenge, Thanking them for coming out to Monroe and helping us put on a fun event

Willie's Final Post

A few weeks ago, I took Willie to our horse club Breakfast ride for the day, wanted to get out for a nice ride, see how he would do with his new shoes and our first real trail ride.  I invited Suzi to ride Edgar, thought she would enjoy it.  We loaded up the horses and just as I was about to put the truck in gear, I hear and feel BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.. I probably turned immediately red and full of rage, I was flustered as I tried to put the truck into park (because it already was in park!), flew open the truck door yelling WILLIE KNOCK IT OFF, flew open the horse trailer door and proceeded to kick Willie a few times as he stood tied in the trailer!!  Gave myself a few seconds, opened the divider gate, spanked him as I backed him out of the trailer, spanked him some more outside the trailer and then stood there again to calm myself as Derek came flying out of the house and Suzi's dad ran over from across the street to ensure all was OK at the Fecht's house!

I was sooo flippin angry at that horse.  OMG!  I closed the divider wall, put Willie in the far back section, noticed a couple of new huge dents in the trailer, got in the truck, turned the cool air on and drove off.  Not a great way to start my day!  :)  My internal body temp did not cool down until we got to I5.  Poor Suzi didnt even get out of the truck during all the commotion, she knew it was best to stay quiet and out of the way.  lol

I was still angry at Willie as I watched him stand tied to the trailer while we socialized and ate breakfast at the tree farm.  He was pawing and then trying to kick Edgar..  I got on finally and he was antsy, acting up a little but after about 10-15 minutes, he was his normal laid back quiet trail self.  We had a nice ride, he didnt limp at all and the day ended well.  The next day, Willie was a tiny bit "off" but not lame, so I was pretty happy about that.

I finally got him listed online for $900, had some interest but nothing serious.  I had been waiting to take new pictures and to get video, but decided I was tired of waiting and what I had would have to work!  After a couple weeks of stressing about him and just realizing that it was not likely I would recover much money, I decided to give him away.  I had already lost over $5k in cash this past year, so what was a few hundred more.. wasnt worth the stress of trying to make a few bucks.  There was one gal in Kennewick that had already been emailing with me about him, and when I decided Free was the new price tag, she thought on it for 24hrs and decided to give it a go.  With my schedule and hers, I ended up bringing Willie to work with me a week ago and left him untied in the trailer while he waited.  She showed up mid day, took him home, her name is Heather and she just LOVES LOVES LOVES Willie!!   :)  He is fitting in well with her mares, she has ridden him, he is sweet and lovey and she is very happy.  Which makes me happy and the weight has been lifted.  I know I did the right thing for him and for me and I hope she continues to enjoy him for the many many years to come.

I finally just within the past day or so, have started to feel the itch to ride.  I am not 100% ready to jump into a new horse, I still have some major reservations about buying again, but I want a horse.  I want to ride.  I also want to enjoy this time while I am horseless to get a few things done around the place that desperately need doing!  I think Derek thinks we are taking the entire year off from horses, and who knows.. maybe it will be the year.  But if the right horse comes along, I cant see myself turning it down.  ;)

WW Update

I never thought I would look forward to getting on a scale..  Its always been a dreadful time, such a dissappointment to realize you keep gaining and gaining and gaining over the years..  But now, I can hardly wait for Wednesday afternoon to arrive so that I can climb on that scale and hopefully find a smaller # than the week prior!  The past few weeks have been a bit of a rollercoaster, up then down every other week.  Last week I had done that big huge hike, then also walked 3 miles on the Centennial Trail so surely the scale would reflect all of my hard work..  Nope!  .4 gain last week.. Son of a Gun!!  Well thats not really what I was feeling, I was a bit more pissed and frustrated than that.

But I have to keep remembering to push on and put the work in, because then I bounce back a week later and drop 4.2  :)  I am down 31 pounds total, that is awesome!!  I have a long ways to continue to go, but I am finally starting to see the changes in myself.  Slight, very slight ones.. but I have had 2 people ask me this week if I am loosing weight, so thats really cool to finally loose enough that others are starting to notice.. people that didnt otherwise know I was doing WW or trying..  I almost believe I can do this..  There is still a tinge of doubt in my brain, but I continue to grow and get stronger mentally every week.

My jeans are so baggy these days, I definately can feel the change in my waistline!!  I decided this morning to go to the far right side of my closet to look for a pair of jeans to wear.. that is where the un-wearable clothes have migrated.. pulled out a pair of wranglers I forgot were there, they are 2 inches smaller than my baggy ones and they fit!  I didnt have to lay on the bed or anything!!  They are snug in my waist, feels weird to wear snug jeans, feel like my tummy is just rolling over the edge..  lol    But they fit, I'm not hurting and dont feel like they are too tight, with still some baggy ass issues going on!

Hike of my life..

We set out late Friday afternoon for Dave Bishop's Ranch in Quincy WA, the Burke Lake area for a weekend with friends.  6 months ago when we planned this weekend, we were going to bring horses and ride; however we all know the horse situation so Derek & I decided to go anyways and just go for walks and see the area.  We were tenting it of course since we have camper issues to resolve, so the adventure was on..  It was a great drive over, got there at dusk, good thing our tent is super easy to set up!  :)

The next morning we decided to go out for a walk/easy hike and explore the area.  We left at 8:45 am, the sun was out, the wind was blowing and it felt great, almost cool...  but the cool air quickly heated up as we continued on our walk on the trail.  We followed the canyon wall to the left of us, saw a couple minor waterfalls

and as we looked out across the canyon floor through the valley, we saw what appeared to be a trail going up the side of the canyon.  It looked fairly steep from where we were at and I asked Derek, "would you go attempt it if I was not here?"  He said heck yes he would.. so I said "lets go then!"

Here was our view of the canyon as we contemplated which direction to head.. we had come from the right

So we started our cross-country trek to the other side of the canyon and get to the base of this trail, now realizing this is NO horse trail!!  This is a hikers only type trail, far toooo steep and rocky for ANY horse to go up.  I knew I was being crazy but I was feeling good and I said, lets do this..  It was slow going and a sit down breather was necessary once or twice to make it to the top, but I did it and the view as amazing!!  

We were overlooking Dusty Lake.. I'm thankful for self-timer cameras so we were able to get a shot of us both at the lookout.  From our viewpoint, there was no getting down to that lake safely, so after a few minute break, we headed back down a level to the main trail on top of the ridge.  This was clearly a horse trail and we followed it back towards the end of the canyon.  We didnt really want to go back down the trail we had just come up and we also wanted to continue with our exploring.  

 At the far end of the canyon, we reached the trail that would lead us back down to the canyon floor, what a great view we continued to have of Ancient Lake as well as a couple other neighboring lakes too..

This is a nice waterfall into the green lake.

From our vantage point, we looked out across the valley and that little red X you see on the picture, that is the corner of the canyon wall we have to go around to get back to camp!  So we still had a long ways to go. At this point, before our final decent, we were about 2.5 hours into our "walk"!  

At this point I am still feeling really good, my back was shocking the hell out of me by giving me ZERO pain.. ZERO!!  My legs were a little tired and tight and the sun was getting quite warm, but I was still feeling great. I knew we had a long walk out ahead of us, but kept thinking the worst is behind me, I got this!!

That feeling quickly ended as we reached the canyon floor and started to hike out.  There were minor hills in the valley to go up and the first one I encountered kicked my ass!  I was out of breath 1/4 of the way through it, my body was starting to shut down.  I was struggling pretty bad with my breathing and for the first time, started thinking that I wished I wasn't out there.  About this time my head started to tingle as I was walking and I started to feel a bit nauseous, but I pushed on.  After 30-40 minutes or so of this, my body and brain hit the wall; I started to hyperventilate, my eyes started shedding uncontrollable tears, I probably was shaking a bit, and I'm sure my heart rate was up.  Derek indicated I was having an anxiety/panic attack.  I really struggled to get control of my breathing, but Derek was great and he took control of the situation and after a few minutes was able to talk me back to breathing and calm.  It took another 5 or more minutes to recover enough to continue on.  

I really had a tough time trekking back out of there, but I just put one foot in front of the other as they say, and walked my ass out of that damn canyon!  That last 1.5 hours of hiking, I was breathing heavy the entire time, struggling to find energy to do anything but walk.  I think my brain realized just how far we still had to go and it shut down and convinced myself it could not do it.  But here I am, back at work, so I clearly did it!!

I am proud of myself and I am sure Derek is proud of me too.. He never thought I would attempt the trail we took or that I would be out for a 4 hour hike!  I went too far, 2.5 hours would have been perfect for my conditioning and 3 months ago at 30 lbs heavier, I wouldnt have been able to do this hike at all.  I am certain of that!!  So I am proud and I did enjoy it.  It has easily been 12 + years since I've been on a hike and this by far has been the longest and hardest hike I've done in my life.

I marked in white the route we took..

 When we got back to camp, we both doused our heads in water and just sat for a couple hours doing nothing!  And that felt awesome..  lol    Later that afternoon we went out for a little 20 minute walk with Scott and Barbara as they showed us the lookout of the Columbia River and another area that can be ridden, beautiful!!

The next morning, I felt pretty darn good!  I was not ready to head out on another hike like that, but I was not really sore at all, just some tight muscles  :)  I am completely amazed with my back and a little confused why my lower back has been pain free..  Not that I want the pain, I'm really really excited its not there.. just surprised mostly.

The thing that disappointed me the most.. was my WW activity monitor!  After we reached the peak of our hike overlooking Dusty Lake, to that point I had already used up probably 125% of my daily points target.. but when I took the monitor off, it was telling me I was between 50-75%.  I was PISSED!!  I cussed at the little monitor and was quite irritated that it was not accurate.  I guess because we were going slow and it wasnt moving around a lot, it didnt realize just how hard I was working.  By the time we got back, it finally registered at about 125%, which again is full of ....  because I should easily have been 250% for the day.  Too bad it doesnt monitor heart rate.. so it is a minor glitch/flaw with the tracker.

But I am proud of myself because when we got home from camping yesterday and after we had put everything away, I was at 100% of my activity for the day, but I climbed on that elliptical anyways and put another 20 moderate workout minutes into the end of my day.  Because w/o the loss of almost 30 lbs or the use of the elliptical I've been doing the last couple weeks, that hike would not have been possible..  I'm working my way to fit...  :)

Changes...

Ever since we got the new upgraded horse trailer, we've realized that we really needed to consider upgrading our truck.  The rear end in our 3/4 ton truck was on its last leg.. who knows, maybe the leg would last another year, maybe not!  But with the added weight of the new trailer (which we could definately feel when pulling it) it was more likely to be sooner and not later that the truck break down..  so upgrade trucks is what we did.

Welcome to the family our 2010 crew cab F350

I always go into stress mode and slight anxiety mode when we buy a new vehicle.. not sure what that is about or why I do that, but I do..  This is a NICE truck!! more bells and whistles than we've ever had on any vehicle and it has a few more miles than I wanted to find in a truck, BUT we really dont plan to drive it much and with the crappy mpg it gets, wont drive it more than necessary, so it should last for many many years..  We got a fair deal on our red truck trading it in and feel we paid a fair price for this one.

We had pulled the camper into the shop this past week to clean it out, get it ready for the camping season.  We had planned to take it to Burke Lk with us this past weekend, but we had some issues that need resolving before we will be taking it anywhere..  Had a leakage issue so it needed drying out as well, also had to replace 2 jacks as one completely broke and the other was on its way..  We now need to decide if we want to patch the problem or tear the whole thing apart and re-furbish the entire camper as Derek has been wanting to do since we bought it.  Its still in good shape, and very usable, but there are features of the camper we dont use and have thought about taking them out and creating more space for us..  So not sure..  maybe we will patch and then sell it so we can upgrade campers too.. heck why not, we've been upgrading everything else these days!!!

The good thing about our upgrades so far is the horse trailer upgrade cost us $0 and this truck trade in upgrade is minimal cost, as it only affected our monthly payment by an amount we were comfortable with.. I have a feeling though that a camper upgrade will not be $0, so it will be something to consider..  Afterall we still need to buy a couple horses in the future..

Speaking of horses, we've put that process on the back burner a bit..  I'm still keeping my eyes and ears open, but not going to stress or go out of my way to look right now.  I'm a bit motivated to get some things done around the place and the only way that will happen is if I dont have a horse to focus on riding!  :)  

I still have Willie and need to get that situation figured out soon....   its been a slow process due to many different circumstances, but I think it is now time to focus on finding him a new home.. wish me luck!

Happy 40th Continued..

Fish On.. Fish On.. Fish On..  That was the sound of 16 of our friends and family catchin fish on the Hula Girl, May 21st!!  The boat caught 40+ ling cod and probably 130+ rock fish aka sea bass..  meaning we drove home with about 25 pounds worth of filets to fill our freezer.. yummy yummy.  My sister-in-law had to almost ruin it for me and informed me though that bottom fish (which is what we were catching) has worms and now I'm a little more than leary and a bit grossed out about eating the fish..  I guess they are easy to pick out and as long as you cook the fish fully, its not a problem, I just need to look for them... Thanks Andrea!!!    ;)

Derek & Eric wanted to ensure a successful trip, so in Deadliest Catch fashion, they bit the heads off some herring and a great trip indeed is what we had!!

I think this picture about sums it up

Derek and I both caught our fair share, about 15 fish each.  At one point I had 3 sea bass on at one time, that was cool.  We were so glad so many friends could make it out, it really made the trip that much more fun and special.  We plan to now continue and restart the tradition of going out yearly on the Hula Girl!!  Maybe one year we'll splurge and do a Halibut trip..

This is Derek & the captain Steve..  This is the same captain Derek grew up fishing with, so it was really great for Derek to be back on the boat.

 

Horse Situation Update

So here's the lowdown on the horse situation..

We did drive to Cle Elum to meet Breeze & Nellie.. very sweet girls (horses), very nice people!  with a beautiful OMG amazing log home..  But Breeze & Nellie were lacking a little bit for us, not quite what we are looking for.. I'm sure they are great horses, just not for us right now.  We enjoyed our day together though, was nice to just get out and have some down time. 

I have found a couple other horses that Rachel is going to stop by and see while on her Walla Walla trip this coming weekend.  One is in Walla Walla, the other in Selah (outside Yakima).  She has a new boyfriend from over in WW, so she is over that way often these days and although she is still in a walking boot from her horse-accident, she's going to stop by and meet the horses, see if they are worth the drive over for me.  One is a draft cross gelding, he's 15.2h age 7, with some trail exp.. nice looking horse, asking $3800 for him.  The other is another draft cross, 16.3h mare, age 5 (she would be for me) with some trail miles, excellent video but they want $5000 for her!!  Both horses are MORE than we want to spend on any one horse.. so I'm not getting too excited.. 

The shoers put new corrective shoes on Willie a week ago, he seems to be doing really well.  I have not had a chance to work with him yet or ride him, so I have no idea if he is now sound or atleast sounder than before!  I'm hauling him over to Shannon on Tuesday so she can ride him and help me determine what step I need to take next..  The shoers indicated that he has Navicular Symptoms, that he is not yet Navicular...  They feel he could be worth a couple thousand!  So that made me feel MUCH better and more hopeful at being able to sell him.  I joke around about him and have over the past year, that I like him, dont like him, like him.. etc..  Bottom line, I do like this horse and am very sad about it, not just because of the financial in-the-shorts-loss I am experiencing with him, but because he is a really sweet horse and he doesnt deserve this.  He certainly will not hold up for the riding I want to do, so a new home is a must, but I did shed a tear at the thought of him not working out, so I guess this stone cold horse heart beats a little still..  ;) 

The plan is to get some great pictures of him, hopefully somewhat professional type quality from Rachels daughter, and also get video too, I want to show how sound he is or is not in the video, and get him up for sale.  Might see if I can pay Klay (her son) to ride Willie for a couple weeks, get him back in working mode.. 

Also, Also..  cannot forget the horse trailer!  Derek painted our 2 horse trailer so we could sell it....

Yeah!!  It looked brand new..  he is amazing!!  I had spoken with a trailer dealer and he indicated I could ask as high as $5500 which was a surprise.. so I listed it for $5300; 4 days later it sold for $5,000!!  The gal sent her dad (from Snohomish) on Sunday to look at it, since she lived in Wenatchee.. she called later and made a committment to come buy it the next day.  She shows up with her dad/mom and says to me "You look familiar and your name seems familiar"...  well I graduated Snohomish 91, she graduated 84 I think it was.. so it wasnt that..  She then says "do you know Shana?"  Why yes, yes I do know my cousin Shana!!  lol  So Shana's best friend is Dottie, who our whole family knows pretty well..  Well apparently Rhonda (gal from Wenatchee) is Dottie's Sister!!  Small World... 

I am pretty happy about the trailer deal though..  We bought our 97 Circle J 3-horse trailer for $3600, put another $1400 into it via new tires, licensing and having the wiring fixed..  so out of pocket so far is $5000 for that trailer..  Cant believe we just did an equal swap and we now have a bigger trailer for the same price!!  Derek seems pretty motivated to paint this trailer sooner than later.. we still have a few minor things to fix but we got very very lucky in finding a seller that didnt realize she undersold her trailer by atleast $1000!

Surprise Surprise!!

Derek turned 40 this week and being the awesome wife that I am, I wanted to be sure it was a special occassion, a birthday to remember!  So we invited all our friends and family to join us at Rhodes River Ranch for a Sunday afternoon lunch..  54 people were able to come out!!  It was AWESOME to have so many want to share the day with us and the best gift of all was the surprise arrival of his parents Bob & Nouna.. they drove up from AZ just to be there for him.  That was really special.  :)  We had a fantastic lunch, OMGosh the food super yummy.. I had some cupcakes made by our neice's friend.. she did a great job of decorating some with shotgun shells that read "40 age" instead of "40 guage"!  Clever..  and then some with ducks on them, others had edible pictures of Derek..    Derek wanted a rice crispy cake so I made that..  7 bags of marshmallows!!  I found the edible camo border and put some ducks on it and then a shotgun lighter I found..  It turned out better than expected, I was really proud of my awesome cake!!

 

His parents spent a night at our house, which was great as they were able to join us on Derek's actual birthdy for dinner out at Ixtapa Snohomish (Dereks favorite restaurant!)  Carlos brought Derek a HUGE shot of 'Tequilla Something or other'...  :)

My friend Rachel, her 40th was 4 days before Derek's so we took her out on Saturday afternoon and suprised her by buying her, her very first pair of real comboy boots!!  She grew up riding English, so she had never owned a pair of real boots.. LOL   She LOVES them, and it was so great to do that for her.  We went to school together and were friends through our 4H club, drifted apart for many years after graduating, Carrie went to school with her sisters and used to babysit for her.. we slowly rekindled our friendship and then I just barged in and demanded more time with her over this past year and we've grown as close as 2 girlfriends can get, non-sexually anyways!  lol  She has filled this void in me that I have been needing, just having that one girlfriend you can tell anything too, with no fear of being judged, someone who will be honest with you and set your ass in check when needed, support you and just be there for you.  I havent had that since Carrie died and never thought I would find it again..  I am truly thankful for my friendship with Rachel!! 

I've been on this slight mental rollercoaster when it comes to my WW success/failure the past couple weeks.  A week ago when I stepped on the scale at WW, I had a feeling it was not going to be less than the week prior, I felt that I did not make great food decisions and although I was still within all my points, it was not as healthy of a week for me and the scale reflected that with a .6 gain   :(  I was pretty distraught over it though, it really had a pretty big mental impact on me and I was more down about it than I expected to be.  In an irrational fashion, my brain was telling me "see, I knew you couldn't keep up with loosing every week, sooner or later you will start to gain again and this system is not going to work for you!"  F*ing  Brain!!  That is my biggest downfall, is myself and my own ability to convince myself this is going to happen for me.

So over this past weekend and up until my weigh in yesterday, I basically felt like I fell off the food wagon!  I certainly did not eat as much food as I would have 2 months ago, but I was having some major cravings for C-R-A-P!!  Rachel realized I was mentally hitting a wall so Monday, she surprised me with these beautiful flowers..  and a note that said "WE GOT THIS!"

I ate over my bonus points this past week, BUT because I knew I was not eating well, I did finally start using the elliptical again, to help compensate... Monday and Tuesday I spent 20min/day on it..  I was also running around a bit more than normal with this birthday planning and then Derek's parents surprising us and then telling us they were coming to our house!!  Which put me in a late night frenzy to get the house CLEAN..  Spent a few hours cleaning and got it cleaner than its been in a while, so I feel really good about that!

I was dreading the scale yesterday, my belly felt bloated, my pants felt tighter..  I'm trying to peer over the scale weight to see the readout as I'm standing there and she starts to write down a # and I'm thinking I saw a 5lb increase but apparently I couldnt see the #'s as well as I thought, because she recorded a 1.8lb LOSS!  I was shocked..  Seriously..  So with that loss, I have now lost exactly 25 pounds!!!  I was pretty happy and feeling very refreshed and positive again.. 

The good, the bad...

Its only Thursday and it's already been one of those weeks.. 

I had hoped to get on the scale yesterday and wanted to see atleast a 1 lb drop in weight, as that would have put me at my 5% loss, but I got on the scale and was in shock as she recorded a 6.4 lb loss!  Every week I am amazed at how well this is working for me..  In 6 weeks, I have now dropped 23.8 pounds..  WOW   My brain still thinks I cant do this, suprisingly.. but I know myself and I have yet to believe in being skinny. 

I feel better, my pants are looser (heck I seriously can walk right out of my wranglers now, they will fall off my butt within a 40 ft walking distance, trust me I tried it!  Jeans around my ankles walking from the barn to the back door)  lol  My girl jeans are looser, although they are not as apt to fall off my tooshy since they are built different.  I feel like my shirts are looser and I can suck in my tummy while sitting and it dissappears under my boobs..  LOL

I have little goals here and there for myself and hope to achieve them..  see, still not ready to say WILL Achieve..  I am SOOO looking forward to the day I can get on a horse from the ground w/o the aid of a person or stump or stool helping me out..  Not sure if I mentioned but when that happens, I'm booking a weeklong vacation at a dude ranch of some sort.. Its been on my bucket list for a very long time and I think that is a great way to celebrate something I havent been able to do in a very long time.

Unfortunately life is not all about roses and rainbows and thats how the rest of my week has been.  It all stems around Willie, I finally got him to the vet for a lameness exam and after temporary nerve blocks in his feet to determine it was in his feet, and then xrays to determine the cause of him limping, I can now say with certainty that I was right..  But this is NOT NOT NOT a time I wanted to be right..  Willie is Navicular!!  :(

You never want to here that word uttered when it relates to your horse.. "It most commonly describes an inflammation or degeneration of the navicular bone and its surrounding tissues."  There is no cure, there are things you can to do help the horse along, but everything is temporary and eventually the horse will deteriorate and get to the point of needing to be put down.  Willie could likely have many rideable years in him still, with some corrective shoeing, maybe some nerve blocking and supplements and/or drugs.. but he wont have it with me.  Between buying, training and diagnosing him, I have $5,000 wrapped up in him and I'm sick about that because I basically am going to have to give him away...    Pooooffff!  Shannon thinks she might be able to help me find a "buyer" for him, but I'm not holding my breath, who would buy a horse with this problem.. 

So its been a couple days of severe crying sessions and depression.  Every time I talk on the phone with a friend about it, I start to cry, I just cant help it.  We have lost 2 horses in 2 months.. WTF is happening in my life right now.  What have I done to deserve this, seriously...    Derek and I are taking a step back, regrouping and trying to figure out what to do next.  Neither one of us is willing or even wants to spend ANY money on buying horses right now.. although neither of us wants to give up riding.  I just cant see spending thousands of dollars after having lost over $10,000 in value on the 2 horses we had.  Thats a pretty tough pill to swallow. 

My shoers are great and they have a client with a couple mares that they want us to go meet..so we are going to Cle Elum on Saturday to meet these horses and see if we like them.  The gal is willing to do a lease, she knows our situation and is willing to work with us and just might be willing to part with 2 of her horses.  So although neither of us is jumping into this with ANY expectations, I cant blow her off any longer and I TRUST my shoers completely and they wouldnt steer me wrong..

Happy Easter

Since we dont have any children and there was no reason to paint easter eggs or hide chocolate rabbits around the house, we decided to go clamming instead!  Lance had invited us out to Whidbey Island (Penn Cove), it sounded fun..  And the weather this weekend was amazing, blue skies, close to 70 degrees.. 

It only took us just over an hour or so to get our 40/each limit!    In the above picture, there are 80+ clams there.  Apparently they are called butter clams.  I'm not a big clam lover, I dont like to eat them actually.. the only way I will tolerate them is in clam chowder..  Although I dont know if I've had clam strips or not, I would imagine I could eat those.. but eating the entire clam right out of the shell.. Yuck, not gonna happen!!

And boy do we have some biggy clams!  :)  They are on our back porch right now, resting in salt water, eating corn meal which is supposed to help clean their systems out so they are not full of sand.  The plan is to leave them that way for a couple days, then steam them, freeze them and wait until we have the time to attempt some clam chowder or who knows what other recipes we can come up with!!

We had a really great time and look forward to more clamming trips in the future.. I hope to find a way to love eating them, otherwise I'll be calling some friends to take some off our hands..  

frustration continues...

I dont have a picture of horse # 3 that Rachel & I went to look at for Derek, the ad was pulled offline before I could copy it..

So this horse was about 9-10yrs old, a paint gelding, about the size of Oakley.  The reason for selling the horse, raised a little flag for me but I trusted and we hauled Edgar down south to Orting, to go try out this horse and take him out on a trail ride.  The guy said he bought the horse 5 months ago for friends to ride, to have an extra horse, but then realized his friends were not really too interested and decided to sell.  Sounds a tiny bit fishy, but I trusted.

So we get to his home, watch him do a lot of ground work, I did some ground work, very responsive, very nice manners, laid back easy going horse... and cute!  :)   So he then got on and did a lot of trotting and some loping around.. didnt seem like the horse was willing to walk much, but it also seemed like the guy didnt want the horse to walk and kept him moving.  He then stopped him and said "if the horse is going to buck, this is when they will do it" and then from the stand still, he basically stuck his legs out as far as he could, leaned forward and kicked as hard as he could, pushing the horse into a lope.. Well sure as shit that horse bolted forward a few strides at the lope then proceeded to buck the guy off!!  Well I didnt blame the horse too much, wasnt impressed that he bucked, but the guy about scared the shit out of that horse.  He didnt just come off either, he did a complete summersault in the air, landed flat on his back!  But he got back on and asked the horse to lope off a number of times and there was no other buck, and the horse didnt appear to want to buck either. 

I was not 100% sold on this horse, and that was before the bucking even happened.. I felt he was not as quiet and laid back as we would want, but its hard to know in a round-pen environment and Rachel wanted to get out for the trailride still, so we loaded him up and headed out to Mud Mountain Dam in Enumclaw to ride.  He was pretty good!  Had some issues with being left behind when we tried that scenario with him, but nothing too major.  He was definately a leader, he wanted to move out and be in front, was willing to cross anything and go anywhere directed.  At this point again, i'm still feeling like he's not quite what we want.  Although a very good trail horse, he just didnt do it for me.  Well the seller likes to run/lope on the trails, so he kept encouraging Rachel to get Chico(horse) into a lope and they did so a few times.

We get out to an opening, they decide to lope again and out of the blue, Chico lets out a big 'ole buck and off comes Rachel, landing on her back with a VERY badly rope-burned left hand!  She is laughing, so I am laughing..  Chico runs off and catches up to Ryan (owner) and she gets back on.  Persistant my damn friend is, so shortly after that, she and Ryan take off loping again, this time up a big gravel hill.  In my head I'm thinking.. this chick is nuts!  After that round of loping, they decide to lope again, going uphill on that same gravel road and this time Chico decided to let loose once again, this time I knew Rachel hit the ground much harder.  The burns she had just incured 15 minutes earlier, well they now were torn open!

She got back on and we told the guy, you need to lope lope lope this horse and then re-list him in a month or so when he is over that crap and list him for more than he was previously asking.  Chico is a GREAT trail horse, if he can get over bucking. 

Today I went online and randomly decided to google search the guys phone #.  I wanted to see if I could find his full name so I could see if he was on FB so I could see if he had a FB picture of this horse, so I could post it on my blog..  Whew.. that's a lot of  "so I could..."   Well in searching for his name, what I really discovered is 3 other ads for horses for sale by this guy...  The ads were expired, so the links did not take me anywhere that provided a date, but regardless I now realized this guy was a liar!  I had been defending him online and to friends and I was immediately PISSED OFF and ANGRY that this MF*er duped me. 

I sent Rachel a text to tell her about this asshole and she proceeds to tell me just how bad off she really is.. she was going to hide it from me, but came clean..  So here it is 11:45pm on Sunday night, I'm a lot angry and I decided this seller needed to hear from me; here's my email to him (which was cc'd to Rachel as well)

Hi Ryan..

I wasn't going to send an email, but really feel that maybe I should. Even after the bad ride we had yesterday on Chico, I was giving you the benefit of the doubt about what happened.. I believed what you were telling me about Chico.

Although a few things did raise little flags for me about the information you provided; however, I trusted. When you said you bought Chico for friends to ride, but then 5 months later decided to sell because they no longer were interested, that raised flags for me.. That didn't seem logical to me, but again, I trusted.

There are 2 things I want to say about this whole thing.

1) I went online today and decided to put your phone # into google search, I was curious if you were listing this horse anywhere else online. And I found 4 horses you've listed for sale in the online history (although there are no dates since the ads have expired) ! Chico, a 13yr Arab, a QH Mare and a 16h Appy Gelding. What a shock that was to find.. to discover the person I thought was being up front with me, is actually a horse-trader.. most likely buying them cheap and selling them for a profit.

2) I called my friend to check on her today and I want you to know she spent 3 hours in the ER today. She started slurring her words and was seeing spots in her vision, so her children took her to the hospital.. She has a severe head injury/concussion, her ankle that she broke 2 months ago is now bigger than it was when she originally broke it, her left hand is useless (she uses her hands daily to make a living) and is covered in bruises all over.

We know the risks involved with riding horses, we get that. BUT you encouraged her to lope Chico on numerous occassions, 2 of which resulted in her getting bucked off. We TRUSTED that you knew this horse WELL ENOUGH to know that he would NOT do that! You didn't seem to show much concern when she was bucked off or emotion about it.

We then find out as we are riding back up the rest of the road to the trailers, that you've only ridden that horse 10 times in the 5 months you've had him and that he sat for 2 years.. You did tell me about the 2 years of him not being ridden, but you did NOT tell me you only put 10 rides on him.

So now I'm pissed. My friend was BADLY injured/hurt by your horse, BECAUSE YOU MISLED ME! I feel Duped and now know I was lied to and I think you need to understand the DANGER you put people in when you indicate what a great trail horse this is, then highly encourage loping and running on the trail. I am so angry you put myself and my friend in such a bad position, for a few bucks!!!!

We felt we were trying to help you out, give some advice about what that horse needs and what we get in return is an ER Bill, a hand so injured she's not sure she can go to work for the next day or two and an ankle she is unable to walk on, again preventing her from working for possibly the next few days. I'm angry that I was lied to and it cost my friend quit badly, physically & financially.

If you are going to buy horses cheap and sell them for profit, I have no problem with that, but you need to find a way to be a lot more educated about the horse you are selling and that horse's limitations because this time it cost someone dearly and it could have been prevented.. That horse was NOT ready to be loped freely and you SHOULD have known that! I'm not sure how to end this email, I'm just so disgusted after finding your selling history online and then minutes later find out how bad off Rachel is. I really feel you should take some of the financial responsibility here..

Piper    

Well I think that about sums it up!!  I think I'll end this blog post with this letter as well...

Where's my punching bag.

Tonight is one of those evenings where I dont know what to say, how to feel, what to do..  I want to scream, but that seems drastic, I want to cry, but that seems irrational, I want to sleep but how's that going to help..  I'm struggling to think clearly right now so I just need to get off to bed and hope I wake up feeling a bit more refreshed.

What's all the frustration and fuss about.. well I spoke too soon and Willie is still limping!  :(  I am so angry and incredibly frustrated that I can hardly function or even think straight.  I think the only logical option is to get him in to a vet, I just had really hoped to escape the $300-$500 bill that will surely accompany my vet visit.  But I just dont see any other options, this has been going on now for 3 months and although the pads have helped, they have not fixed the underlying issue, clearly..

So give me a day to "freak the F**" out because I'm close to panicking at this point and again back to thinking worst case scenario.  My irrational brain right now is telling me to ditch the horse, hold off on buying another, give us a year off w/o horses and come back to it in a year with lighter bodies and clearer brains...  I'm not seeing any of that as a downfall at this point, which tells me I really need to get to bed cuz I'm not thinking straight..

Spring has sprung..

Spring is here, the weather is changing, the air feels clean..  time to start getting motivated, get outside and get some shit done!  Easier said than done...  right!

We (okay Derek) almost has the horse trailer done and ready to paint, the goal is to get it painted this weekend.. I think I've said that the past couple weekends, but Derek has been working a lot of hours at his "paid" job so I cant push too hard..  :)

We have not gone out to see any horses, probably this weekend Rachel and I will go look at one.  It can be an overwhelming, frustrating process, so I think my friend and I have come up with a new way to try to approach this, so as to not take up and waste so much of Derek's free time with the crap that tends to be, when we get out to see the horse in person. 

On a positive horse note, I "think" we have hopefully found the solution to Willie's limping problem..  He's a pansy!  Yes, I've known for a while my horse has thin skin, is a little more sensitive.. but now that has migrated down to his feet too, so the shoers have put pads on his front feet and magically, he seems to not be limping anymore.  I am not 100% convinced yet, will have to wait and see how he does with regular work and see if he stays sound, but so far so good and its been almost 2 weeks!  I've lunged him once and he appeared sound, I rode him for 2 hours around the neighborhood, he felt sound.. He will get lunged and ridden again tonight, so we will see.. my fingers are crossed.  I was really starting to worry and was picturing worst case scenario with him..  3 months is a long time for a horse to be limping!!  So I am anxious, and excited about getting him out to the arena tonight.. 

And on an even more positive note than that, I am doing GREAT with my WW!  Every week I feel like I am not going to have a good weigh in, I approach the scale with worry and anxiety.. and every time I suprise myself with continued weight loss..  I have lost 17.4 pounds in 5 weeks...  I feel some of the loss in my waistline.. pants are not as tight!  :)  I will keep moving forward, learning as I go how to eat better, reprogramming my brain after 40 years of bad habits and bad-programming!   I am still doubtful in my head that I can do it, but the reality is that I am already doing it... so my doubt comes from the fact that I cannot actually picture myself skinny, cannot see myself being able to get on my horse w/o the help of a rock or stump or stool, cannot picture myself ever being proud of how I look, or that I will get to someday shop at regular clothing stores.. it all seems like an un-attainable fantasy!  My hope is that eventually my brain will flip a switch and start telling itself that this is do-able.  I dont know what other proof is needed to flip that switch, but 17lbs is not enough to convince myself.  I have set a goal to reach by my 40th birthday in 7 months, I hope I dont dissappoint.. 

Thanks !!

Thanks so much Derek for all your hard work at your job...  Just wanted to recognize how much you have been working and that I appreciate it..  :)

Due to all this work he's been doing, we havent had a lot of time together, so any time he has off on the weekends, its been nice spending time together.  Saturday we spent the day with our retriever club, had a board meeting in the morning, then a training day that lasted til almost 4, then another meeting after that to plan for a big upcoming event we are helping host.  It was a beautiful day!!!  And although Cooper didnt run great, he didnt run too bad either.  He's still balking at picking up the birds (yes yes, same story every time)...    Met some new folks and had a great day.

Sunday we drove down to Winlock WA (2.5hr drive) to look at Marshall

We were very excited to go see him, he seemed to have just what we were looking for and upon arrival he was basically everything she had described; however, he had (what I would call) a bad club foot.  The gal had mentioned it in passing upon my initial inquiry, but when I saw it in person, felt it was not really a minor issue but one that would concern me and how long he would stay sound.  After reading online, sounds like many horses do just fine, but I dont want to take that chance.  Lesson learned:  If seller says they have a club foot, ask for a picture up front before wasting time driving down!  He was a nice horse though, but I guess that means a better one is still to come.  

We were going to go look at another horse after Marshall, but the gal sent a text that he had sold that morning.  We'll see what we can conjure up this week to go look at over the coming weekend...  ;)

WW

My good friend Rachel had started to bring up 2 words that I didnt want to hear..  Weight Watchers!  She had tried it in the past and felt she needed to start up again, really wanting me to do it with her.  Well its quite obvious its a much needed path for me at this point, but I wasnt really feeling it...  But I agreed!  Damn Peer Pressure.

When we walked into that first meeting, my heart was pounding, my nerves were awake, my blood was anxious..  By the end of the meeting, I was skeptical.  But I paid my dues and jumped in with 2 feet, I knew there was no getting out of it at this point, not with Rachel as my WW's Buddy!  Took me a few days to get settled into the new routine, learning how to use my phone app and the computer setup to keep track of my daily points.  I did recognize early on that if it was not for the phone and computer calculating all my food intake, that I would not be happy doing this program.  But I was seeing just how easy it was to log in food and pre-determine how many points my food was worth.  I was making sacrifices and telling myself that this is not a "diet".. instead I am learning how to eat right!

So its been exactly 2 weeks now since we started and I have learned 1 thing:  I can still suprise myself!  Within these first couple weeks, I have been eating more food than I had previously but I now am incorporating fruits and veggies into my daily routine.  I am eating 5-7 times per day.. No I'm not eating meals, I'm eating my breakfast lunch and dinner as well as snacks every couple hours inbetween..  Whether it be a cheese stick, a WW low-point snack, fruit or veggies.. i'm flippin eating a lot of food!  Some days I felt like the biggest little piggy. 

At my week 1 weigh in, I had dropped 6.2 lbs!!  YeaHaw
Tonight is weigh in #2 and I am anxious and nervous.. I've been doing great with my points intake and am hopeful for another great week.

Why am I suprised?  Well, because I am in this...  I am 100% on board..  I am not craving crap food (except sometimes I do want to just eat some potato chips)..  I am shopping in the outside isles at the grocery store, so sticking with fresh whole foods, not boxed crap.  I'm learning to allow my stomach to tell me when its time to eat and not my brain!  I have some WW snacks (yummy delicious ones even) at my desk at work, and I hardly ever eat them and they are low points.  Before, my brain would tell me to eat them.. just because they are there, and dont stop eating them til they are gone.  So I'm learning healthy self-control!  I'm learning to enjoy the sacrifices I am making.. less cheese, low-fat foods, less un-healthy snacking, using healthier dressings..  and I'm doing great with it all, mentally!

I think I have also realized that part of my problem before was that I felt guilty EVERY time I ate ANYTHING!  It didnt matter if it was salad or an apple or a candy bar or chips or chicken.. I just felt like shit (in my head) no matter what I ate, because I felt I should not be eating anything, I should just have the mental ability to starve this weight off.  Now, I have a realistic points system that I can live within and I have YET to feel ANY guilt for anything I eat..  I can eat all the fruits and veggies I want, they are zero points.. so I eat them as the fillers in my day when I feel hungry.  Somehow my brain has been tricked and its working!

I owe a HUGE Thank You to my friend Rachel and I tell her often, as I wouldnt be able to do this w/o her!  Although I am now already completely comfortable going to the meetings and have no anxiety about doing so, we text almost daily and she really is the best support system I could ask for. 

I am proud of myself for sticking with this and actually "wanting" to do it..  I need to learn to eat healthy, period!  I have a long ways to go and a lot to learn about what to cook and how to eat etc but I am starting to feel like maybe, just maybe I can do this. 

Great Weekend Recap!!

For over a year now, I've been wanting a bigger trailer.. heck its probably been atleast 2 yrs..  but it never seemed within reach.. I dont just have thousands of dollars laying around to go buy one and I certainly couldnt take the risk of selling my trailer and then "hoping" to find another rather quickly.  We had contemplated buying brand new, putting down a large downpayment and making payments, but when we lost Oakley, there went that down payment, now its needed to buy a new horse.  And its just not easy finding decent used trailers in the price range we wanted, everything was rust buckets & aweful!

So in the midst of shopping for a horse, I occassionally was also looking for a deal on a decent 3-horse trailer on CL..  What do you know.. I found one!!  From the pictures posted, it looked like a very nice clean trailer with everything we wanted.. roof rack, solid back door, 3 stalls, same stall dimensions as ours to fit our big boys and a fully enclosed tack room.. but it had some bonuses..  an extra long tongue (no more extended hitch for hauling with the camper), padded dividers, solid divider between the heads, hay bags and it even came with a brush caddy with brushes, a helmet and a nice leather hole punch!!  When I initially called, someone else was going to look at it but alas, they did not buy it and we jumped all over that..  drove down to Bonney Lake on Saturday with cash in hand, loved everything about it, and drove it home!  Especially loved the price, we got a GREAT GREAT deal on this trailer, even after the new tires we just put on it, we still are into it about $1,000 less than we both feel it is worth.  It is older, its a 1997 Circle J, but it has been very well cared for with minimal rust.  I just cant believe it.. I look at it every day and smile because it is something we have wanted and needed for a long time!!

Now we (okay Derek) will do some paint work to our original trailer and hopefully sell it sooner than later so we can recoop most of that money..  Thank Goodness for Income Tax Return Cash!!!  :)  Oh and thanks to an owner that didnt realize what she had..   It helped make this all possible..

Sunday, we were supposed to go look at a horse, but.....

Well we didnt even make it up to see horse #2 before we were "educated" on the truth about that horse.

I was fairly excited about this mare, she had the trail experience we were looking for and in general, sounded like a nice horse.  She was up in Sedro Wooley, and we were set to go up on Sunday this past weekend.  Saturday night we went to some friends house for a BBQ and got to talkin with them..  they seem to know a lot of people, so I asked them if they happened to know the owner of this horse and/or the horse!  Sure enough, they are personal friends with the guy, have camped with him, ridden with this horse and heard the stories about her..  Apparently it seems to be a running joke how much "mare magic" they give this horse before every ride and around camp, the guy complains all the time about her bucking problems!  Well, I'll be darned......  I do recall asking if she had any bucking issues, and somehow the answer to me was NO!   So I emailed the guy and politely told him we didnt feel she was the right horse for us.  I probably should have told him off for lying to me, he doesnt realize what a small world/horse community this really is.. but I also didnt want to throw my friends under the bus either.. so I let it go.  Cant help Stupid!

Best Horse Ever!

I think Edgar has to be one of the best horses I've ever owned.. I've owned a few really good ones..  Shammy, Abbey, Oakley and now Edgar!  He's always been special but I get a lot of joy when I see moments like this..

Rachel's niece had been wanting to start riding lessons so we decided to start using Edgar for those.  Sophia is only 7 and she's a true cowgirl.. she's not one bit afraid of big ole Edgar!  Maybe a little intimidated by him when standing next to him, but she was not afraid to climb up on him and ride.  She's got a lot to learn, as she struggles with keeping him walking and remembering the word "whoa" and remembering to use her reins to turn and stop him but I have no doubts she'll progress and be riding off on her own soon.  For now, she is still on the lunge line and she prefers my big 17.5" saddle than this bareback pad.  She's wearing Rachel's 30yr old english attire that she just found in storage and looks super cute..  Rachel had told Sophia months and months ago she couldnt start riding lessons until she saved up enough money to buy her own helmet...  well look at her now!  She's a great kid and I thoroughly enjoy watching our Edgar help her learn how to ride.  He may not be a fancy show horse, but he is safe!!  Plus she has to work really hard to make him listen, her little tap tap of her legs does nothing for him..  :)  This last lesson, we gave her a little crop/whip to smack him with to get him moving.. but how hard does a 7yr old really smack?? ....  not that hard!  lol

Suzi is still leasing Edgar as well, we just borrow him once a week for our lessons here..  The more work Edgar gets, the better.. helps keep him healthy and sound.  Although we did have a health scare with him just a week after we lost Oakley.  It was the night of Sophia's lesson and I came home and could see from inside my house, that something was wrong with Edgar, he was visibly shaking.  I went out to the barn and tied him up, his body was shivering/shaking from head to tail..  I phoned the vet for advice and she said if he had a fever, to give him a dose of banamine, to watch him and see how he does in a few hours.  I blanketed him, gave him his dinner right away and that was helping, he slowly was eating, although not 100% normal.  I saw him go for water too, so that was good.  I had to wait for Derek to get home, as I asked him to stop and buy a thermometer.  His shaking really slowed down by the time Derek arrived, but upon taking his temp, realized he definately was sick as he was running 104 temp!  Horses avg is about 99-100.  I gave him a dose of banamine, stood talking with Rachel for a while, she left, I picked up manure and walked back into the barn. By this time it had been 45 minutes since I'd given him the meds and he was sweating really badly!  His body temp was very hot under the blanket, so I phoned the vet again, concerned about what I saw.. she said it was normal, he was sweating off his fever and to just leave him be and check on him in an hour.  Well a hour or two later, I did check on him, his temp was down to 100 and he was no longer sweating..   I went to bed hoping he would be back to normal, as the vet indicated if the fever came back, she'd need to come see him.

As I walked in the barn the next morning, he nickered at me to feed him and I knew right away he was just fine!  Took his temp, it was 99..  I took a sigh of relief.  All night I tossed and turned, my heart hurt at the thought of something happening to him, especially so soon after Oakley.  I dont know what exactly he had, maybe he just got cold.. but for now he remains blanketed until the weather warms up, not taking any chances of him getting sick again.  Maybe with his older age and because he's started to shed his winter coat already, he just caught a cold..  I cant loose Edgar..  I am so happy to have him back home, I never imagined how much joy and happiness I would feel inside just by simply providing a horse for others to enjoy.

Deja Vu

It was exactly a year ago that I had just started the search for my next horse.. here we are again, now on the search for Derek's next horse.  I had plans to start riding every weekend that I could, not driving all over the state!  Lets hope we dont have to drag this on for months and months, but the pickin's are slim right now in our area and although I'm seeing some great horses out there, they are far enough away to warrant overnight trips!  Maybe the plus side of that, is that Derek & I can have a bunch of mini-vacations coming up..   Always trying to find the bright side of the story!

Horse #1 was supposed to be a 15.1h 8yr Palomino gelding.  I saw this picture and immediately liked his build.. just look at that butt!  He was up in Mt Vernon, $2000 and he had a lot of trail experience that we were expecting in Derek's next horse. 

When we arrived, he was MAYBE 15h at the whithers, but he had a much bigger dip/sway back than it shows in this picture and his actual back was probably only 14.2..  He was short!!  He was well built though, stocky little bugger and he was very sweet and calm.  Stood quietly as we fiddled around and looked him over etc.  At this point, I was already 75% sure he wasnt going to work, I just felt he was too short, but Derek was OK with it, so  we put Dereks saddle on him, seemed to fit okay and then I bridled him and started to lead him around. 

His energy gears kicked in as soon as I started to lead him away..  He was a bit antsy, wanted to move and wasnt too keen on standing still.  I led him over to an area where Rachel (my friend) could get on him.  She offered to come along and ride the horse for Derek so we could see how he moved and just watch how he behaved under saddle.  He was pissy when I tried to move his body over to Rachel, he started moving as she mounted and she almost came off, but finally prevailed and was on his back.  By this time I was 95% sure I was not liking this horse.  Rachel rode him off and he was full of it.. he was wanting to trot, lope, his head was straight up the entire time and he just wasnt relaxed and laid back at all.  Rachel had a decent ride on him, but come to find out he basically has had 6 months off and he would require someone else to get the kinks back out of him before he was ready for Derek. 

I was 100% sure by the time we unsaddled him, that I wasnt going to be ok with buying him.  Derek and Rachel really liked his ground manners and were quite impressed by that and Rachel even thought he was worth a 2nd look out on a trail ride.. BUT in reality, we need a horse that can sit for a couple months and be the same horse as it would be if ridden daily...  Derek doesnt have the ability or want-to of riding a horse like that.  So the search continues..

Not sure how to label this post, so I won't...  Most our family and friends know already but we suffered a pretty tragic loss the day before Valentines Day.  A friend was on her way to my house, we were going to start WW that night, but when I went out to the barn to feed the horses, I noticed Oakley was flat out laying in his stall.  My horses dont use their stalls for laying down (EVER), they lay outside as I dont provide bedding in the stalls so I knew something was wrong immediately.  I ran to the house to put my muck boots on, called Derek to get him to hurry home and rushed back to Oakley.  He was covered in sweat and goat poop (from the stall floor), he'd been down for hours from what I could see.  The barn walls were all tweaked and bent out, the stall door chainlink wire was mangled and he was missing a couple shoes..  None of these were good signs.  I was able to get him up and he staggered out of the stall into the gravel area and I got him walking around.  He was exhausted..

I let him lay back down as he just didnt have the energy to keep moving and he didnt seem to be wanting to roll a lot, he just wanted to lay down.  I was quite concerned that he had spent hours rolling around when we were not home and that his intestines were twisted already and we were too late.

It took about 45 minutes or so to get ahold of a vet, apparently it was a busy night!  :(  She was about 45 minutes away, all we could do was wait.  We tried for quite some time to get him back up, 4 of us pushing and pulling on him and he just wasnt putting any effort in.  I knew he needed to be up for the vet exam and right before she got there, I heard Derek utter the word "Duck"..  DING DING DING..  My eyes filled with excitement and I told him "If anything will get this horse up, it will be the scent of a dead duck!"

The neighbors were over as well, I felt badly for Suzi to have to see this going on, but also realized that this is the reality of horse ownership and although I didnt feel we were on a very good path with Oakley at the moment, you cant hide from this happening forever. 

So Derek comes back with the dead duck and we put it down by Oakley's nose and that horse jumped up so fast, you'd have thought he was on fire!!  We all cheered and even laughed, I think the onlookers wouldnt have believed it if they hadnt seen it happen. 

Long story short, Oakley had a blockage in his small intestine and the outlook was very poor.  It was not likely he would recover from this on his own and surgery was not an option ($10k plus!) so we made the heart-wrenching decision to put him down immediately.  We gave the neighbor kids the time to come over and say goodbye to him and then everyone left except my friend Rachel.  So it was an intimate setting I guess you could say for Oakley's last moments..  We all shed tears, Derek, myself, Rachel and even the vet....  Oakley was the perfect horse for Derek and it will be hard to replace him. 

Drama Drama Drama

This has turned into the week of Drama and I'm ready for my brain to shut down; however it is not cooperating!  I love gossip and drama, just not when it is directed at me.  We've been dealing with a bit of family drama the past couple weeks that I am curious, nervous, scared and a little hopeful to see how it all turns out, but it does not directly affect me.  Then there's been the personal drama that I am smack dab in the middle of, circulating around me this week and this is why my brain is in overload.  Feel like a mental patient just starring off blankely, feel like Charlie Browns parents (whah whah wha wha wha whah), feel like the monotone commercial guy that says "dry eyes...."    Thank goodness for good friends to help me smile and move forward.  Then there is the animal drama..  took Willie and Edgar to an arena last night so my friend Rachel could give her niece a lesson.  She was going to ride Willie.  Well her niece is just too young and inexperienced to be off the leadline, so Rachel spent the first part of the lesson on the ground leading Sophia around while I got on Willie to warm him up.  He was a complete ass, nearly dumped me at one end of the arena while almost running through another horse that was being lunged.. Thank god what balance I do have stuck with me and I was able to get him under control and kept him from colliding with the other horse.. Poor gal that was lunging her horse looked a bit scared when she saw crazy Willie headed towards her horse!   So I decided my mindset was already in a bad place and to avoid wanting to kill my horse, I rode him a few more minutes then got off and swapped with Rachel.. He did fine with her, she kept him moving.  She's a good rider and has great balance and enjoyed working with him so I was happy to let her do it.  My brain was telling me to sell him, give him away, ditch him...  I was thankful she was there to fill in when my head clearly was in no mood to ride.

Derek and I have been fairly occupied lately, always something going on.  He started hiking with Lance a few weeks ago, they've been on a couple good hikes so far and he loves it.  Our dog club is starting to get active again now that hunting season is over, we've got a lot of weekends planned out already for the summer between the horse club and dog club, as well as 2 family reunion camping trips this year!  Our dog club is hosting 2 major events this year that we will be very involved with, a Duck Dog Challenge in Mid May and then 2 weeks later a Hunt Test..  should be interesting since it will be our first events and we are new to being involved in things like this, but should be fun too!!  Oh and thats another area of drama is this hunting retriever club we are part of..  there is some bad blood between a few board members of our club and the board members of another local club (although our members have taken the high road and are trying to move on)... unfortunately the other club is pushing their big wig weight around back east and keeping us from getting our affiliation with the main HRC club and its been a challenging, frustrating, eye opening adventure to be involved with.  Derek and I have become fairly involved now in this process of trying to move forward and get our affiliation.

Sometimes I wish I were a drinking person so I could just use that excuse to put the shit behind me and just go have a drink!!